


EsQpade

by glacis



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-28
Updated: 2010-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-06 18:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glacis/pseuds/glacis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows Flashback and Changes - this time our favorite Omnipotent Being gets into the act, forcing Julian to make some hard decisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	EsQpade

_EsQpade, _ _by Sue Castle (1995). This is a follow-on to the stories "[Flashback](http://www.castleskeep.net/Flashback.HTM)" and "[Changes](http://www.castleskeep.net/changes.HTM)" although it can stand alone._   


"May I join you?" Garak looked up in quickly concealed surprise at the soft voice. Unusual. The Trill could move quietly, but he was not used to being unprepared for an approach. Jadzia Dax lifted a brow and gestured slightly with her dinner tray. He smiled and inclined his head in an invitation, watching her closely as she lowered herself into her seat.

"Good evening, Lieutenant. Too what do I owe this ... unexpected honor?" His calm tone didn't betray his avid curiosity.

Dax was silent for a moment, savoring the fragrant mist rising from her spiced Orellian tea. Finally, she lifted her violet gaze to meet the ice blue of Garak's and allowed the sliver of a smile to curve her lips.

"A mutual friend." She blew lightly on the tea, without breaking eye contact with the Cardassian. He settled into his chair for what promised to be an interesting conversation.

"I trust there have been no further debilitating incidents since the last adventure?"

"It's not his physical well-being that concerns me at the moment."

He nodded encouragingly. "He does heal amazingly quickly, doesn't he." It wasn't a question.

"He's had to." Her expression darkened, as her thoughts turned inward. He gave her the time she needed to order her thoughts before gently prodding her to continue.

"If not the physical, then perhaps it is the emotional state of our young friend that concerns you?"

She gave him a long, considering look. "You saved his life down on Bajor, Garak. No," she caught his hand with hers when he would have waved it dismissingly, "that rogue Kohn Ma terrorist would have killed him just because he was with you. It didn't matter to him that you and Julian were on a mercy mission for those orphans. All that counted for his purposes was that you were a Cardassian and Julian was your friend. Reason enough to sabotage the runabout, causing the crash. Reason enough to try to murder both of you, and Kira too."

He inclined his head, conceding the point, and gently withdrew his hand from her grasp. He and Doctor Bashir had survived an assassination attempt by a Bajoran less than a month before, and only Major Kira's quick actions had saved their lives. He and the fiery major were still adjusting to the fact, and neither was quite sure where to take their normally hostile relationship. For the moment, they simply avoided each other.

"There was something I needed to ask you, Garak," she continued hesitantly. "When you and Kira brought Julian back to the station, he was still unconscious. You had removed his uniform blouse in order to treat the chest wound." Her voice was dropping steadily, forcing him to lean forward slightly to catch her near-whisper. "Did you notice anything ... unusual when you were putting the pressure bandage on his chest?"

He sat back rather abruptly, with less than his usual grace, at her question. Thinking furiously, he recalled some recent rumors that Julian and Dax had been seeing more of one another than usual lately, that Dax had been seeking out the doctor's company more often after duty hours. Deciding to follow the conversational thread and see where it might lead, he answered after a barely perceptible hesitation.

"Are you perhaps referring to the scar patterns on his back?" Her widening eyes confirmed his guess, and he pressed on. "Unusual in one so young. But then, Humans can be surprisingly vicious to their children."

There was no evidence of a smile left in her expression. "Very. It's not limited to Humans. Did he - say anything about them?"

"Well, my dear Lieutenant, he was suffering a great deal of pain from his wounds, and he had lost quite a lot of blood. He was in shock. He may have muttered something in his delirium. But, frankly, I was much too busy trying to keep him warm and staunch the blood flow to listen very carefully."

Appearing not to notice the slight relaxation in her features, he gathered his dishes and politely excused himself. As he returned her smile, he nonchalantly tossed out a final comment. Smile firmly in place, eyes watchful, he cheerfully said, "He did say something about - Ishmir." Her smile slipped. He nodded pleasantly and left the replimat. Dax stared after his departing back, ignoring her rapidly cooling tea and wondering fruitlessly just how much the little tailor knew.

 

A nice leg. Very tight, like a dancer's, with flexible grace and surprising strength. And a very sore knee. Doctor Bashir ran the regenerator over the joint once more, adjusting the energy flow and eyeing the readouts until he was certain the damage had been repaired. The he patted the knee lightly and smiled into the set features of his patient.

"All set, Kira. Just watch your step next time, and take it easy on your knee for the next two to three days." He turned to replace the instrument on its shelf, suppressing a smile at her snort of disgust. Turning back to her, he was not surprised to find her staring at him speculatively. He sighed inaudibly. Really, all this concern was so unnecessary.

"Yes?" he asked somewhat testily.

"You sure you're all right?"

"Yes." He was so tired of talking about this.

She nodded and swung her legs off the examining table. "Back to Ops, then."

As she swept past him, his hand shot out of its own volition and curled around her forearm. She stopped and tilted her head to one side, shooting an inquiring look at him. Embarrassed, he dropped her arm, staring at his feet for a moment. Looking up to meet her velvet brown eyes, he cleared his throat.

"Sorry about that, Nerys. I didn't mean to snap at you. But I really am quite all right."

She grinned at him. "I know. I just wanted to make sure - you were pretty badly hurt." The grin turned cheeky, provoking an answering grin from him. "Besides, I like to bug you. It's fun ... and you're always on my back to have fun!" She pivoted on her heel and exited the infirmary with his laughter following her out.

Shaking his head, the smile still deepening his dimples, he walked slowly into his office. He stopped just over the threshold, startled to find Jadzia leaning back against the counter, her arms folded over her chest, one leg crossed negligently over the other.

"Well, hello! I didn't hear you come in."

"She smiled at him mischievously, and he thought he saw an odd glint in her eyes. Almost a malicious gleam. Shaking off the thought, he concentrated on dampening his psychic abilities so that he didn't inadvertently eavesdrop. So far none of his crewmates was aware of his well-hidden telempathic capabilities, and he preferred to keep it that way.

"Oh, I slipped in while you were busy with Kira." She meandered slowly around the office as she spoke, picking up his stylus, a datapadd, a blue agate worry stone, putting them down, pacing as restlessly as a caged panther. "You've had an exciting few months, Julian. First your 'old friend' Aliera comes to the station and tries to kill you. Then that bounty hunter nearly finishes the job. Now a renegade Bajoran puts a hole in your chest. Makes one wonder why you're such an attractive target." She finished her perimeter prowl, coming to a stop directly in front of him. "So many things hidden behind those big innocent eyes."

Cupping his face with her hands, she seemed to drift away in his gaze. He didn't know if she leaned forward or he did, but in the next moment her face swam out of focus and her mouth opened over his. Shock at her unexpected aggression held him immobile for a heartbeat and her tongue parted his lips, seeking the silken warmth of his mouth, probing insistently.

Opening his thoughts, he felt himself drawn into a maelstrom of passion, much more powerful than he had expected. And completely alien, unfamiliar. This being had Dax's form, her taste and scent, but it was definitely different from Jadzia. Opening the gate to such an overwhelming psychic overload swamped Julian, and he silently screamed in fear and denial. For an endless moment, he lost consciousness, completely subsumed in the torrent of power buffeting him. All of his nerve endings were buzzing and flashes of black, deep purple and brilliant crimson obscured his vision. His ears were filled with a roaring ocean and all other sensations were lost.

When he came back to himself, he was slumped in the chair next to his diagnostic computer. Someone was perched on the lab cot, silently appraising his condition. Clenching his fists and squinting his eyes against the fierce headache pounding in his temples, he tried to focus on the figure. It - he? - waved one hand, and the pain subsided to manageable levels. As his vision cleared, he groaned.

"Well, well, well. We are just full of surprises, aren't we, little one?"

"Q," Julian spat out in return. The irritatingly omnipotent being grinned nastily back at him, with a speculative tilt to his head.

"I had an inkling. Vash wouldn't have been interested in you unless there was something more than met the eye."

"So you decided to give it a go, is that it, Q?" Julian's disgust was evident in his voice.

"Mmm hmm. Got more of a mouthful than I expected, too." Q slid off the cot and advanced toward Julian, bending to trace a finger lightly along his jaw. Julian flinched from his touch, and Q straightened to study him thoughtfully.

"This may be more interesting than I had at first thought." Julian eyed him warily, but Q merely smiled wickedly at him and disappeared. Julian sighed and rubbed his aching head. As he signalled Commander Sisko to report the incident, he was mentally editing out the parts that might reveal his own hidden talents. He sighed again. It was going to be a very long day.

 

Julian pulled on his soft cotton pajamas with a weary sigh. It had been a long week. After convalescing for two weeks with his chest wound he'd been champing at the bit to get back to work. He was not a good patient. Then three days into the backlog of work awaiting him, Q had made his decidedly unwelcome appearance. In the last four days the whole command staff had been on the alert, but there had been no further appearances. It seems the trickster had just dropped in to keep life interesting, as O'Brien put it, before being distracted by finding some other poor buggers to torment. Julian hoped so, but somehow he doubted it. Rolling over in bed, trying to find a comfortable spot and escape his thoughts, he came face to face with his nemesis -- under his own sheets. Julian bit off a curse and scrambled backward off the bed.

"Damnit, Q! Lights up!" Julian planted his fists on his hips, looking quite a bit like Kira when she had her dander up but unaware of the fact. He glowered at the being relaxing on his bed. Q laced his hands behind his head and met the heated glare with an amused smile.

"Calm down, Doctor. I'm not here to ravish you. Q's glance raked him from tumbled curls to bare toes, and he grinned. "You look about twelve years old in those ridiculous pajamas, and I'm no pedophile." Q ignored Julian's muttered "they're comfortable" and patted the bed enticingly. "I just want to talk."

"About what?" Julian didn't budge.

"Looks. How deceptive they can be. How you foolish Humanoids manage to twist your little lives into such circles around them, never seeing past the surface. All in some vain attempt to accomplish what comes so naturally to those with higher ... power." Q sat up and winked at Julian. The doctor blinked in disbelief, looking down at his own body tucked neatly under the bedclothes. "Now," Q continued imperturbably, "we can be comfortable and talk."

Julian counted to twenty under his breath. When he'd finished, he faced Q and opened his mouth to speak. Seeing that smug visage so close to his own, his fury grew and he closed his eyes. This time he counted to fifty. Q watched until he grew bored, then ran a finger along Julian's shoulder. The young man started and lost track of the numbers somewhere around 42. Opening his eyes again, he found himself lying on his side. His pajama top had disappeared, and Q was peering at his back with interest. It was all too much, and when Q began to trace the extensive network of scars with a lazy hand Julian lost his tenuous hold on his temper.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Q? What do you want from me?" His voice rose into a shout, and he surged against Q's grip until he could turn and lie on his back once more.

"Humans. You are an interesting species as a whole," Q mused.

"You're on the look-out for lab rats?" Julian demanded incredulously. Q grinned at him.

"If you'd like. You're a way of relieving my tedium." Q watched Julian actually squirm with outrage. It really was rather entertaining to torment Humans. One could never quite predict how they were going to react. "It's like a play. You all have images of one another, and the images form these alliances, and yet none of you really know the other with whom you think you are connecting. Usually the images are quite wrong, yet they are all that you use to relate to one another. A true comedy of errors."

"Do you know what your problem is?" Julian hissed.

"No doubt you in your great wisdom will enlighten me," Q sniped back.

"You're nothing but a voyeur! No wonder Vash left you." Q went rigid, but Julian was too deeply incensed to take heed. "You couldn't give her what she really needed, because you're incapable of ever really feeling anything! All you can do is pose, pretend, put on an act. Talk about a play! When it comes down to the truth of the matter, you are an emotional eunuch! That's why you have to torment us so often. It gives you the illusion of a connection to real feelings."

Silence greeted Bashir's outburst. He stared at Q in defiant fear, remembering the incredible power he had accidentally tapped into earlier. Q stared back at him with an eerie, blank look on his features, eyes dead and cold in his face. He stayed rigid, as if he would do Julian some violence if he were to move. Finally his pale lips moved.

"Truth? Illusion? Connection?" Q leaned closer to the other man, who remained frozen in place. Stopping centimeters from Julian's face, Q stared into his soul. "Such an expert, little one," he whispered. "We will see." He smiled suddenly, a vicious slice of teeth in a set face, and disappeared.

Julian shuddered, willing his tensed muscles to relax, waiting for his limbs to stop shaking. When he finally had the trembling under control and was able to move again, he reported the incident and returned to bed. It was nearly morning before he finally fell asleep. *

 

Major Kira Nerys was not a patient woman. Her temperament matched her fiery short hair, and at the moment that hair was very nearly bristling. She'd had about enough of the atmosphere in Ops, with everyone constantly looking over their shoulders to see when Q would pop in again.

As the lift rose into the room all eyes snapped to watch it, and Kira almost laughed at Doctor Bashir's reaction to being the center of attention. For once, he looked like he'd rather run than bask, an unusual reaction from him. With varying degrees of self-consciousness, the staff returned to their duties. She watched Bashir step down into the command center and cross to Dax, holding a datachip out to her. They were speaking too softly to be overheard, and Kira shrugged. She had work to do, and she had no time for daydreaming.

Turning to go back to her station, she bumped into a tall figure she could have sworn wasn't there a moment ago. Unsteady on her bruised knee, she instinctively clutched at the red- sleeved arm he extended. Looking up to thank him, she was momentarily stunned. Q quirked an eyebrow at her and she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"What now?" Her abrupt, abnormally loud voice created a pool of silence in the Ops Center. Q smiled at her hand, still resting on his muscular arm, and she snatched back as if it were burning. Planting her fists firmly on her hips, she glared at him. Q suppressed a smile - the stance was familiar.

"Oh, I don't know, my dear." Q paced slowly around her still, much smaller figure, and she swivelled her head to track him. "That is part of the charm when I pay a little visit to this otherwise dreary place ... the unpredictability of its inhabitants, the fascinating humans running around here."

"I'm Bajoran, not Human." Privately, Kira wondered if she was losing her grip, arguing racial definitions with a dangerous, volatile and really flaky being like Q. But she held her position.

Q laughed and slid a fingertip across her noseridges. She shivered in reaction but didn't lose eye contact. "Not all that different from my point of reference."

"Leave her alone, Q," Commander Sisko's voice broke in. He'd caught sight of Q through his office door and hurried out to intervene before Kira got into trouble. Q turned slowly to face him, and saw Julian behind the commander. Doctor Bashir was standing perfectly still beside Jadzia, hoping against hope that Q wouldn't notice him. Completely ignoring Sisko, Q winked out, then back into sight again, this time leaning forward over Dax's console, resting his chin in one cupped hand.

"We were having such a ... pleasant conversation last night, Doctor. I wished to continue it."

Julian looked into those cold eyes and didn't believe a word of it. "I don't," he gritted through clenched teeth. Q grinned at him nastily, and Dax looked on with alarm.

"But there were a few things that you mentioned that I just had to follow up on. They intrigued me."

"Q!" Sisko nearly bellowed.

"Oh, enough," Q returned, flicking his hand in Sisko's direction. He suddenly froze, as if Q had turned him into a mannequin.

"Benjamin!" Dax protested, rising to aid her old friend. Q raised his hand again and she checked, eyes flashing from Q to Sisko and back again.

"Stop whining, Lieutenant. He's perfectly fine. He just won't be interfering with my little demonstration."

"What sort of demonstration?" Kira demanded angrily, skirting the frozen figure of the commander to confront Q.

"Why, a demonstration of the difference between illusion and truth, my dear - Bajoran." He slanted a sideways glance at Julian. "Connections will have to wait for another time." He smiled back down at Kira and she barely restrained herself from slugging him. "Ah-ah, none of that," he warned, wagging his forefinger in her face, "hold that temper, Major. After all, you didn't get where you are through intemperance."

"She didn't?" Julian finally joined the conversation. Kira sent him a killer glance, but he was concentrating on Q and missed it.

"Lesson number one, little one." Dax's gasp drew Julian's attention back to Kira and he suddenly had difficulty swallowing. From the coils of long shining hair woven into a complex twist around her skull, to the scrap of raw amber silk almost covering her curves, down the exposed length of leg to the painfully high heels strapped to her delicate feet, this was not the Kira Nerys he knew. Her face was expertly but heavily painted, with kohl outlining her dark eyes and crimson glistening on her lips.

"The things one has to do for freedom," Q sighed, breaking the stunned silence.

Kira growled and launched herself at him only to be stopped mid-attack, frozen in the same manner as Sisko. In the air around her, holographic images formed. As the images developed and began to move, it became obvious that they were memories, scenes from her past taken from her mind and played out in the present to make Q's point. A shadow Kira embraced a Cardassian guard, as other Bajorans crept around a wall behind his back. Lulling him into passion, he never felt the thrust of the long curved blade into his back until it was too late to stop her. Another specter fed information from a Cardassian datapadd into a tiny recording device, as a Gul slept peacefully nearby, obviously exhausted and satiated. A third phantom sprayed phaser rifle fire into a room full of Cardassians, including dignitaries and soldiers, many of the wounded wearing civilian clothing, some only children. Julian felt his stomach clench. Dax turned very pale, her spots standing out like tiny dark fingerprints against her pallor.

"Stop it, damn you, stop it now!" Dax demanded, her voice trembling with anger. Julian could only nod his agreement. The sight of the dying children was too close to the reality he had faced a few short weeks before, when a Cardassian orphanage had been bombed by warring factions on Bajor.

"But don't you appreciate the irony, my dear? Kira is known for her honesty, her strength of character, her-"

"Whatever she had to do during the occupation does not change who she is!" Dax cried out, cutting off his taunts. He cocked his head to one side, studying her for a moment.

"So. Since she has admitted to you that she has had to do things in her past that she's ashamed of, then this doesn't change your opinion of her character. That is ... fair."

He nodded and smiled sweetly at Kira, and the images vanished. She shook her head as if to clear it of lingering ghosts, and stood shakily against the railing. She wouldn't meet Julian's or Dax's eyes, turning away from the concerned face of Chief O'Brien.

"Well, I suppose that's acceptable, although you must admit some of those things she's doesn't like to admit are not quite what one might have expected ... her truth is not as heroic as her image."

"So what?" snapped Julian. "She is who she is, and we know and like and respect her!"

"Oh, but she at least admits her past, little one," Q responded silkily, leaning closer to Julian.

For a brief instant, Julian closed his eyes and concentrated fiercely on his mental walls, but the effort crumbled before the force of Q's will. He felt the slight, cool breeze of the air brushing across his bare legs and torso, shook his head against the sudden weight of curls falling over his naked shoulders and back, the gold pulling at his earlobes. For the first time in eleven years, he felt the cold clasp of the slave band tight around his bicep, and heard the chime of the tiny bells encircling his left ankle. He opened his eyes to see familiar, hated teal linen draped around his hips, and raised pained eyes to find Kira staring at him, open-mouthed in shock. O'Brien looked ready to fall over in a faint, and Dax made a tiny sound, gasp or sob, he couldn't tell.

Dancing in the air around his body were specters from his youth. Heavy-eyed women pulled him into dark rooms, out of the blaze of the desert sun, striping the rags from his body, leaving coins in their wake. Hard hands pushed him behind marketplace stalls for quick, rough encounters, and one such rape ended in blood, and death. A younger, somehow harder version of Julian knelt, his wrists tied to posts sunk deeply in the sand, while an older Human male laid welts across his back with a thin whip, until his skin was slick with blood.

Another shadow Julian, creeping forward to smooth ointment from a cracked bowl onto another youth's back, similarly beaten. As the images formed, he was drawn further into the nightmare of his past, reliving the pain, the humiliation, the struggle to survive. Scenes rose unbidden in front of him, a panorama of hurt with no comfort ever offered. Dimly, he heard Q's voice through the haze of pain.

"And the things one has to do just to make it through the day. Interesting, wouldn't you agree? And not quite the pampered rich boy he passes himself off as being, hm? Truth. Illusion. You pitiful little sparks have such a short time to flare, and you persist on playing these games. Well, little one, contrary to what you may believe, I am well aware of the differences between the two. As are your - comrades." Q curved a finger through one long dark curl, playfully tugging at it before letting it fall. "If I'm a voyeur, my dear boy, it's only because you make it so enjoyable to watch."

The space in front of Julian was suddenly clear, then he felt a warm sweet breath moving the heavy curls by his ear. "We'll talk again. Soon." Then the presence was gone. He sagged sideways, clutching Dax's chair for support. Her arm caught him protectively around the waist, the rasp of her uniform material on his naked skin making him feel very vulnerable. Sisko came out of his apparent trance, putting out a hand to steady Kira. She flinched from his touch, then smiled at him apologetically.

Sisko swept his gaze over his traumatized command staff, and cursed Q under his breath. Damn Q - every time he showed up someone ended up being hurt. Kira's past, while rather more lurid than he had expected, was not all that surprising. And Dax had sought his counsel weeks before in dealing with a potential lover who had been a victim of child abuse and who was a rape survivor. So Julian's revelations, while going far beyond what he had expected, were only a complete shock to Chief O'Brien. The rest of the command staff had had at least some idea. But he needed to reassure them all that no one needed to fear having their private pasts become public knowledge.

"I think we all agree. None of us saw anything untoward here today." Wide blue, brown, hazel and olive eyes regarded him incredulously, and he sighed. "What I mean is, what happened in our pasts is no one else's business. I'm not going to tell anybody-"

"Me neither!" Miles chimed in readily.

"-so let's not give Q the satisfaction of thinking he got to us. Okay, people?"

"...okay," Kira softly agreed. She still wasn't looking at anybody.

"Sir." Julian was standing as quietly as possible, acutely aware of the chiming bells announcing his every movement. "Our uniforms ... we can't - the Promenade..." His stammering voice finally trailed off and he stared at Sisko helplessly.

"I can take care of that part of the problem," Chief O'Brien stated briskly, happy to be able to do something useful. The revelations about Julian's past had really shaken him, and he would have to think about this for a while before he approached the doctor. Or perhaps he would have to wait for Julian to approach him. He couldn't believe the difference between what he had thought was the boy's background and what actually was. No wonder Julian never showered at the gym facilities -- scars like that would be impossible to hide in a communal shower.

Dax reluctantly pulled her arm from Julian's waist. "The chief can transport you directly to your quarters so you can change, without having to walk through the Promenade in..." Her voice trailed off and she stared at Julian in fascination. Kira was doing the same, unaware of the appreciative glances her own attire was attracting. Dax privately thought they both looked incredibly sexy.

*Never realized long hair would look so good on him. I could wrap my hands in that and never let go* whispered through Julian's mind before he clamped down the remnants of his mental shields. The thought that Jadzia found his slave trappings exciting caused a mixture of repulsion and arousal that only confused him further.

O'Brien competently beamed Kira and Julian to their respective quarters. Kira quickly shucked the amber dress, feeling dirty in a way she thought she'd left far behind her. Scrubbing at her face, she washed until all vestiges of who she had been no longer showed. At least on the surface.

Alone in his quarters, Julian slowly removed the gold and copper jewelry from his ears, arm and ankle. Unwinding the linen loincloth, he wrapped the discarded jewelry in it and shoved it into a basket in the far corner of his closet shelf.

He refused to think about why he didn't dispose of them. He wasn't ready to delve into his reasons just yet. Standing in front of the mirror in his small bathroom, he drew the heavy mass of curls over his shoulder. Bunching it in one fist, he pulled a pair of shears from the cabinet and began to cut. He stared blindly into the mirror, not seeing the silvery tracks of tears running quietly from the corners of his eyes down his cheeks. His mind replayed a similar scene, when he was only seventeen, and he wondered if he would ever be free of the darkness, the stigma of having been Ishmir.

 

"Soon has arrived!" Q announced with a flourish.

Julian continued to stare out the oval window at the wash of lights against the deep black void. Q paused for a moment, studying the picture he made in the darkened room. The only illumination came from the faint starlight, casting Julian in alternating patches of shadow and soft light. He was perfectly still but for one hand, his fingers toying endlessly with the ragged edges of his roughly cut hair.

Q sighed appreciatively. Humans were ridiculous, pathetic little creatures, but they did have a flare for the dramatic ... in their own little ways. And aesthetically some of them were quite pleasing. This experiment might be more enjoyable than he had originally thought. He sauntered toward the still, silent form of the doctor.

Julian could barely control his shudder. It had not been that long since had been stalked by someone. In fact, Aliera had hunted him only a few months ago, and the bounty hunter had nearly killed him shortly afterward. While the threat they had posed had been both telepathic and empathic, as well as physical, neither was nearly as frightening as Q. Julian could hold his own with them, and he could at least affect Aliera as much as she affected him. Q could swallow him completely, cause him to lose himself, with no more effort than it took to blink.

He hated the helplessness and the ache of vulnerability that thought brought to him, but he couldn't find his way out of the fear. Running his fingertips nervously through his hair, he took the only course of action available. He waited to see what Q had in mind, and he tried to hide his trembling.

Q reached out, running the pad of his fingertip along the tensed muscles in Julian's arm, following the line from shoulder to elbow, forearm to wrist, along the clenched fingers of his fist, then reversing course until he brought them to tangle in the short hair at the side of his face. Ignoring Julian's resistance, Q forced him to turn, facing his tormentor. He was looking for something in the wide-eyed, fixed gaze, and not finding what he was seeking.

"You really aren't going to cooperate, are you, little one?" Q softly whispered. Julian didn't answer, couldn't shake his head, held firmly in Q's grip. "It won't hurt, I don't think ... any more than you already have been hurt. But I would appreciate your cooperation." His hold loosened and he combed his fingers through the loose curls to the back of Julian's head, lightly cupping the base of his skull. Their faces were nearly touching now, and Q softened his expression, inviting Julian to trust him. "I will learn so much more if you invite me in."

Looking up into the seemingly guileless blue eyes, Julian gave in to temptation and lowered his mental shields a fraction. The response chilled him to the marrow of his bones. Cold. Mocking. Triumphant. Endless as the void beyond the station, without the softening starlight, just unfathomable blackness shot through with unexpected glimpses of something shimmering, disappearing when he almost discerned it, almost brought it into focus. The overwhelming taste was unpleasant, like ice on his nerve endings, so cold it burned. He tried to break away, but found himself unable to move. He screamed, an incoherent mixture of rage, pain, fear, denial. There wasn't a sound in the room outside his mind.

"Well." Q was somehow in the center of the room, arms crossed impatiently over his chest. Julian felt the imprint of his fingers on his skin, but he was no longer holding him. With the distance between them, however slight, he was able to find his voice.

"What is it you want from me, Q?"

"You." Abrupt, impatient. Almost angry.

"Why?" His words were stronger, not as raspy. Q snorted with disgust.

"What a stupid question. I thought you were more sensitive than that. You certainly respond to me like a sensitive. To explain, my simple one, you interest me. Your experience is unusually deep, and I want to test it." He shook his head, dismissing Julian's questions. "Because I choose to do so."

"No." Julian backed up a step at the flash of anger in Q's expression, his back coming up against the cold metal of the wall. Nowhere to go. He began to explain rapidly.

"You want what I was, not who I am. You want me to be someone I can no longer be. I've shut down that part of myself, atrophied the mental and emotive abilities, reinvented myself. I had to. There's no room in this life for all the ugliness of who I was, what I did. There can't be, not if I want to stay sane!"

The words tumbled out desperately, faster and louder, almost a cry. He stopped abruptly, his shoulders slumping. Forcing himself to meet Q's impassive eyes, he continued quietly, "I'm not a whore any more, Q. I won't ever be one again. Not for you. Not for anyone."

Q held his stare for a long moment, a smile playing over his lips. Finally, he sank gracefully onto the bed and leaned against the pillows.

"Really?" he asked, quirking an insolent brow. Julian nodded jerkily. "Not for ... anyone?"

Q's small smile grew into a fully developed sneer. Julian couldn't quite control the shudder ripping through his frame, but he did manage a firm, "No one."

Q waved one hand negligently in the air, as if keeping time to unheard music. Kira Nerys suddenly appeared, not four feet in front of Julian, and he started violently. She was standing perfectly still, unblinking, frozen mid-motion as she pulled on her uniform jacket. Julian looked askance at Q, who waved his hand on the upbeat. Jadzia Dax popped into view, leaning forward with hand outstretched, a fork in her other hand, obviously midbite at her dinner. Julian looked at first one, then the other of the lovely officers gracing his quarters, and turned to Q.

"What the hell are you doing?" His puzzlement was quickly being replaced with rage.

"No one?" Q repeated with pointed malice. "Not even Nerys, your latest warrior-protector? She saved your life on Bajor, when the bounty hunter would have murdered you to get to Aliera. She saved you again a few weeks ago when her old comrade-in-arms would have killed you to get to the Cardassian. Not even for her? Or Jadzia. Beautiful Jadzia, whom you are finally beginning to actually trust, who knows the truth and still wants you. Well, most of the truth," he amended, laughing a little in Julian's heated face. "Not even for her?"

"You wouldn't hurt them, Q." Julian moved forward to put himself between the women and the monster reclining on his bed, as if he could be any protection for them. "What purpose would it serve?"

Q appeared to think about the question for a moment, then twinkled a smile at the distraught Human. "Oh, I don't know. Amusement? Leverage? Blackmail? It might work. Perhaps you need more ... persuasion."

Suddenly Garak appeared to the right of Dax. He was caught in the act of changing a data element and for a moment Julian was distracted by the security rating on the side of the tube. How had the crafty tailor gotten one of those? Then his attention was recaptured by Q's voice.

"-a good friend, one would surmise. Sharing secrets, even if you will attempt to save face by pretending it was all storytelling to pass the time. Yet another small instance of illusion versus truth."

Julian was shaking with suppressed fury, all fear driven from his mind. "This is coercion! You think that this will make me want to cooperate with you? You must be out of your mind!"

Q was regarding him with almost clinical curiosity, and Julian had a vivid mental image of himself as lab rat and Q as detached observer. The picture solidified his anger and resolve. "No." He stepped closer to Q, leaning over the bed, nearly hissing the word. "No. Absolutely not."

Q pushed himself upright until they were face to face.

"You are going to make this difficult, aren't you." It wasn't a question. He flicked his hand and the frozen figures disappeared again. "That's all right. I enjoy a challenge."

Julian stared at the empty bed, not even an impression in the bedclothes indicating that anyone had recently been lying on it. It felt like an eternity before he moved. Perching on the edge of the bed, he dropped his head into his hands and tried very hard not to think.

 

The atmosphere in the infirmary the next duty day was depressed. In a certain tailor's shop along the Promenade, a particular Cardassian was thinking furiously, trying to dissect a bizarre waking dream he'd had the previous night. Ops was tense. Very tense.

After numerous attempts to talk privately with Kira failed due to the major's determined avoidance, Dax finally lost patience. Standing implacably in Kira's path, using her imposing height in an unusually assertive way, she forced the smaller woman to stop and confront her. Dax tried to project reassurance with her calm expression and relaxed stance. Kira tried to find a way around her. Giving up, she addressed the obstacle in her path.

"Yes?" Kira was curt, professional. To the point. She directed her question to a spot on the wall a good six inches to the left of Dax's shoulder.

Dax sighed inwardly. This was going to be a difficult conversation. Bobbing her head in an attempt to meet Kira's eyes, the sigh escaped audibly.

"Come on, Nerys. Talk to me."

Kira finally looked at Dax, startled by the use of her given name while they were on duty. The generous friendship glowing in her friend's sapphire eyes gave her the support she needed to open up, at least a little. She couldn't address the issues that were riding her heart the hardest, but she couldn't completely cut Jadzia out, either.

"We have a problem." Dax was relieved that Kira was finally looking at her, instead of the wall. Kira stiffened at Dax's words, so the Trill quickly explained. "In the middle of dinner last night I suddenly found myself in Julian's room. I think. It was all very odd. I couldn't move or speak, but I could see and hear everything that was going on."

"Me, too! I was just changing my uniform after ... getting a haircut." Her voice trailed off as the previous day's events replayed briefly in her mind.

"It was Q again," Dax continued smoothly. "For some reason, he has targeted Julian, and it looks like we're being used as some sort of hostages or something against him."

"It really is blackmail, then. I wonder, for what?"

"I'm not completely sure, but from the conversation we overheard, Julian is adamantly opposed to whatever it is."

"And he's afraid Q will hurt us to make him do - whatever it is," Kira growled. Dax nodded agreement. "Do you think we're in immediate danger?"

Dax considered the angles for a moment, then nodded. "We have to warn Garak."

Kira almost laughed, but the gravity of the situation sobered her. Dax noticed and shook her head, smiling slightly in return.

"I wonder what he was doing when Q snatched him up? Nothing good, I'd be willing to bet!"

"Undoubtedly," Dax grinned. "He should be told, though-"

"Do you think he knows?" Kira interrupted. "About Julian's past?"

Dax took some time before replying, remembering her unsettling conversation with Garak in the replimat. "Some of it. I don't know how much." She nodded decisively. "I'll tell him, now, about the possible danger from Q. I'll be back shortly."

Kira watched her friend enter the lift. Dax gave her one more serene smile, and she shook her head as she returned to her duty station. Would anything ever ruffle the Trill's feathers? she thought with her own small smile. *

 

Docking schedules were almost as complicated as Vedek Assembly politics, Kira snorted to herself, after two solid hours of juggling conflicting demands from irascible travelers intent on their own agendas. With a sigh of relief after untangling a particularly knotty traffic jam, she looked around Ops with the realization that it had been some time since she'd seen Jadzia. She supposed the poor woman had become trapped in conversation by the loquacious tailor, like getting sucked into a spiderweb. Tapping her commbadge, she called to Dax but received no response.

"That's strange," she muttered. "Chief," she turned to O'Brien, "are there problems with the commnet again?"

A disgruntled expression settled on his normally cheerful face. "Not that I know of, Major, but it wouldn't surprise me. I'll check it out -- might just be between yourself and Lieutenant Dax. 'Til then you might want to use the main system and bypass the individual comms."

Her lip curled before she could stop it. At O'Brien's quizzical look, she converted the sneer to a pained smile and turned back to her terminal. She really didn't want to contact Garak. He had recently saved her life, for the second time. Once, on Cardassia, he had been an integral part of her rescue. But she still couldn't trust him, and he made her uncomfortable. Especially with old memories so close to the surface. Unconsciously stiffening her spine, prepared for a confrontation if he offered one, she opened a link to the tailor's shop.

"This is an unexpected pleasure, Major. How may I be of assistance to you?" Garak seemed tired and distracted, the usual gleam absent from his eyes.

"I need to talk to Lieutenant Dax. Please."

He almost smiled at her forced civility. His sources had told him a very interesting story about the events in Ops yesterday, and her reaction to talking with him wasn't much of a surprise. Her contacting him at all was, however.

"Would that I could help you, but I'm afraid the lovely lieutenant is not here."

"No?" Confusion warred with suspicion in her expression. "When did she leave?"

Now it was his turn to be confused. "Leave? She never arrived. Was she supposed to be visiting me?"

Kira's eyes widened in alarm. "She must have ... changed her mind. Sorry," she managed to say before cutting the channel, missing the suddenly intent expression on the Cardassian's face. Slapping her commbadge, she demanded, "Computer, locate Lieutenant Dax."

"Lieutenant Dax is not on the station," responded the calm voice of the computer.

Acting on a hunch, Kira touched the badge again. "Computer, locate Doctor Bashir." She didn't like the answer she got.

"Doctor Bashir is not on the station."

Swallowing heavily, she pressed the badge a third time. "Commander Sisko, we have a problem." *

 

She didn't know where she was or why, but she couldn't fault the dress taste of whomever had brought her to wherever she was. Jadzia ran an appreciative hand along the cool royal blue satin hugging her curves, while her eyes shot from one corner of the opulently furnished room to another. It looked like a pleasure palace, with topaz silk coverlets thrown over deep amber divans, soft, plump pillows in a myriad of jewel tones scattered along the floor. Deep champagne beige rugs covered the floor, perfect for curling her bare toes into, and swathes of forest green and translucent gold draperies swept from ceiling to floor, completing the decadent ambiance. The only thing missing was a door.

For an instant, claustrophobia threatened to overwhelm her. Her second host had suffered from a severe case and, until she willed herself to overcome the emotion, the walls had threatened to close in on her. Taking a calming breath, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the muffled curse behind her. Whirling toward the source of the sound, the breath caught in her throat and she couldn't seem to stop staring.

Julian was draped from one shoulder to midthigh in emerald silk, leaving the other shoulder and his legs bare. The effect was literally breathtaking, the deep color turning his olive eyes a startling shade of green and complimenting the creamy caramel of his skin. His hair was tousled, and he looked like an ancient dream of Etruscan youth. Embarrassed youth, as he noticed Jadzia, tried to disentangle himself from the draperies to walk toward her, and tug his tunic down all at the same time. His blush seemed to start at his ankles.

"Been a while since you've worn a skirt, hm, Julian?" she couldn't help but tease gently.

"Yours is longer than mine," he gritted through clenched teeth, turning an even deeper shade of crimson. A vein throbbed angrily in his forehead, and she decided to back off a bit. Casting a measuring glance at her own high hemline, she replied, "Not much!" and changed the subject.

"So, what's your best guess?"

"Welcome to the lab, fellow rat," he replied glumly. "Q," he added with a low growl.

"How perceptive, little one."

Both officers whirled at the sardonic comment, giving Q a nice glimpse of two sets of shapely legs. He grinned at the sight and raised a hand to stop their advance. Both froze, only their eyes moving as Q settled himself on one of the velvet divans with a sigh.

"Seat yourselves, do. Make yourselves comfortable." He waved a hand lightly to indicate seats directly across from his own.

Watching him warily, they slowly lowered themselves to the edge of the long seat. He studied them, perched like schoolchildren ready to bolt, and laughed with malicious enjoyment. Dax and Julian exchanged a startled look, unconsciously edging closer to one another. Q saw the movement and laughed even harder. They waited interminable moments for him to come to his senses, and when he didn't, anger again began to replace fear in Julian's chest. Dax placed a restraining hand on his arm, looked at Q, and cleared her throat. Loudly.

Q eventually stopped laughing, leaning his head weakly against the divan, completely relaxed. The couple opposite him were tense as coiled springs. Jadzia broke the silence before Julian could say something intemperate and make a bad situation worse.

"Q."

He raised his head and smiled sweetly at her. She controlled a shiver and managed a smile in return. Julian tensed as if to lunge for Q's throat but Jadzia's tightening grip on his forearm stopped him. She cleared her throat again, delicately this time.

"Where are we?" she asked politely.

"And why are we here?" Julian growled in a much less friendly tone.

Q paused for a moment before answering, studying his victims, enjoying their distress. *Really, there are times when being around humans is so amusing. And the fun is only beginning.*

Julian caught the wisp of thought, and frowned in consternation. Jadzia didn't notice, intent on Q. He focused on Q as well and sent out a hesitant query, mind to mind.

*Fun?*

Q swivelled his head to stare at Julian, amused all over again.

*Oh, very* echoed in the young man's mind, and anticipatory fire danced along his nerve endings.

He gasped and tried to withdraw from the contact. Q allowed him to escape with one final burning caress along his empathic senses. Julian made a small sound of distress at the taste of it, and shrank back against the cushions involuntarily. Jadzia glanced at him with concern when she felt a tremor shake his frame, but he covered her hand with his and shook his head slightly. Q's voice broke into their silent communication.

"You accused me of being a voyeur, little one."

Jadzia's startled gasp was ignored by Q, and Julian only patted her hand again, very gently. She closed her mouth over whatever she might have asked and decided to listen. Maybe she could find a way to diffuse the tension between her friend and Q. Before it exploded.

Julian nodded slow agreement, and waited for Q to continue. He had no doubt he would pay for his words, and the payment would not be pleasant. He just prayed he could keep Jadzia out of the thick of it.

"And you may be correct."

"What?" Julian exclaimed in shock. This, he had not expected.

"So I tried to remedy the situation, but would you help me? Oh, no. Absolutely not."

Julian exploded upon hearing his own denials parroted back at him.

"You expected me to cooperate with you?" Dax tightened her grip again, but he ignored her warning. "You tried to extort me, use my friends' safety as a weapon, tried to make me in to what I swore to myself I would never be again. Remedy? You want to destroy me!"

"Not destroy, little one," Q responded in a soothing voice. Julian subsided a bit, muttering for Q not to call him little one, but Q swept on, ignoring the minor interruption. "Experience!"

"In what way?" Dax interjected, forgetting her resolve to stay out of the argument.

"Every way, my dear spotted one." Julian bristled, and Q softened his tone even further, as if he were trying to calm a wild animal. "I even brought you away from the space station so we could conduct our experiment undisturbed. As Ishmir, you have an intensity of experience that is unusual, little one." Julian growled again, and Q smiled beatifically back at him. "You have survived things that would have undone many Humans and I want to touch that, feel it-"

"I survived by shoving it so far down I can't see it anymore, Q! If you force me to bring it back out into the daylight, you really will destroy me."

Dax responded to the anguish in Julian's voice by throwing her free arm around his waist and drawing him close. Glaring at Q, she demanded, "And why am I here? Surety for Julian's 'cooperation'? Do what you say or he pays? His pain or mine, his choice?"

"No, not this time." Q surprised her with his answer. "You have experience as well, a direct counterpoint to the doctor's. I want to tap into that. Your lives have not had quite as much packed into them, although you have had an interesting array of hosts. The murderous musician was a shock, now wasn't he?" He grinned at her outraged face and continued. "They have quite a variety to them. What I learn from you will complement what I gain from young Julian." He rested his chin on his fist, leaning forward to study the silent pair. Tapping his long finger against his lips, he smiled.

"As for you, little one ... you are stronger than you think. I won't destroy you. 'Though it might hurt a bit."

He blinked, and they were alone again in their luxurious prison. *

 

Two days of hell, Kira thought wearily as she let herself into her quarters. It wasn't the first time friends had gone missing, but these circumstances were unexpected and bizarre. She'd never had to deal with the whims of a malicious omnipotent being who enjoyed watching people squirm -- while most Cardassians she'd met had enjoyed it, and most had been malicious, they were far from omnipotent.

Stepping over the threshold, her old resistance fighting instincts kicked in, and she found herself diving into a shoulder roll, out of the lighted doorway and into the protective shadows. Coming up in a defensive crouch, her mind processed what her senses had already warned her. There was someone already in her room. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light and she made out a slender female figure lounging in her chair.

"Hello, songbird. Come back to finish playing your contract at Quark's?"

Aliera gave a delighted gurgle of laughter. "Songbird! I like that!" Quickly sobering, she continued, "No. I came back because ... Julian's in trouble, isn't he." It wasn't a question.

"Maybe." Kira wasn't really surprised that Aliera knew about the disappearance, but her return was a complication they didn't need. "How did you find out? Are you a mind reader, as well as an assassin?"

Ali's head jerked up and she glared at Kira. "I'm no assassin." Her gaze softened and a wry half-smile twisted her full lips. "A thief, yes. Entertainer, definitely. Killer for hire? No." She straightened in the chair, then leaned forward to stare intently at the Bajoran, her fingers interlacing until her knuckles turned white.

"I came to see you because I trust you. In a way, I understand you. Incidental to saving Julian or not, you did save my life. So when I ... felt that Julian needed help, I immediately thought of you."

"Felt?" Kira was skeptical.

Ali sorted through her thoughts rapidly, trying to find a feasible explanation the major would accept. She didn't know if Julian had told anyone the truth about his telempathic abilities, and she didn't want to accidentally betray his confidence if he hadn't. Finally, she decided on a version of the truth and hoped Kira wouldn't dig too deeply into her story.

"You may have noticed I have mixed blood. One of my parents was a Romulan."

"Well, the ears do give it away, and you don't seem the 'Vulcan' type," Kira interjected drily. Aliera grinned at her.

"Sometimes, when I am particularly close to someone, I can sense their emotional state. I'm a low level telepath, but Julian is my childhood bondmate. We ... relied on each other." Her eyes slid past Kira's face for a moment, seeing a past she didn't want to share, before she pulled herself back to the present. "So, I had been disturbed for the last week or so and decided to risk coming back to check on him. And when he suddenly disappeared-"

"You knew?"

"-the link grew fainter. Not from distance, really, more like ... a wall had been built between us, or a damper field had been put around Ishmir, or something."

Kira was distracted by the odd name. "You called him that before. Why?"

Aliera's eyes widened. "Sorry. Just a holdover from a long time ago. I guess it doesn't really matter now." Her voice dipped slightly, reminding herself, "I have to quit calling him that." Louder, addressing Kira again, "So. Tell me. What happened?"

Aliera's eyes widened. "Sorry. Just a holdover from a long time ago. I guess it doesn't really matter now." Her voice dipped slightly, reminding herself, "I have to quit calling him that." Louder, addressing Kira again, "So. Tell me. What happened?"

"Q," Kira stated succinctly.

"What queue?"

"Q," Kira repeated impatiently. "A being. Lots of power, no morals at all."

Aliera bolted out of her chair and began to pace the small room. "And this being has Julian?"

"And Dax," Kira glumly added. "Remember her?"

"Trill?" Ali queried. "Tall, gorgeous, spots?"

"Yeah, that's her." She sighed and dropped down on her bed, resting her forehead in her palm to try and ease the ache. "We've used every piece of tracking and scanning equipment on this blasted station, and we can't find a trace of them."

"Not quite every one," Aliera whispered.

"What do you mean, not quite?" Kira snapped. "Commbadge scans, genetic traces, even anomalous lifeform readings across broadband spectrum-"

"Me." Aliera's curiously hard voice cut across her litany of woes.

Kira looked at her for a moment as if she had lost her mind, then slowly nodded.

"You can locate them -- him through this bond?"

"Yes. I can follow the link. With your help."

"More than mine," Kira decided. "Time to bring the commander in on this."

"Will he join us? Or arrest me?" Aliera's concern was well founded. Odo had a cell ready for her should he ever discover she had returned, and there were several outstanding warrants for her arrest from a number of worlds, stemming from a variety of little misunderstandings ... and a few bodies. Kira hastened to reassure her.

"I'll take responsibility for your actions during your stay. Odo won't go after you if Sisko and I convince him that you're our only chance of rescuing Bashir and Dax. Besides," she continued slowly, "Jadzia Dax is an old friend of the commander's. Her previous host was a mentor of his. And we've all ... gotten fond of Julian."

Aliera's eyes twinkled at the understatement. Kira had been fierce in her protection of the doctor the last time Ali had been here, and she suspected Kira liked Julian more than she was willing to admit.

"Let's go talk to this commander of yours, then," she prompted gently. Kira nodded sharply and led the way out the door. *

 

Odo was having a hard time with the concept of expedience, and it wasn't the first such experience he'd had. On the one hand, this woman was a criminal. She had been convicted in absentia of thievery and murder. She'd assaulted both Doctor Bashir and Major Kira more than once, not to mention Vedek Bareil. Yet now, Major Kira was convinced that this same woman was the key to retrieving the missing doctor and Lieutenant Dax from that nuisance Q. If he lived to be 500, he would never understand solids. He sighed.

"You *are* the commander."

"Yes." Sisko's expression was an odd mix of irritation and pleading, with a hint of command. "It's the only possibility we haven't explored, Constable. She may be the only chance we have to find them."

"I'll stand surety for her actions," Kira added. Odo looked at her quizzically, as if to ask if she was sure about that.

"I'll be good, I promise." Aliera smiled winningly at him. He ignored her. She lost the smile and continued seriously, "My only purpose here is to help find Julian and your other missing friend. I can't do that from a cell."

Odo surveyed the three earnest faces arrayed in front of him and sighed again. "Very well. Although I must go on record as saying it is against my better judgement."

"Thank you, Constable." Relief was evident in Sisko's voice.

"Then perhaps we'd best get started."

All four turned to the doorway of the security office. Garak stood, clad much more soberly than usual, in heavy black work clothes. Kira was first to break the stunned silence.

"Started? *We*? Since when are you involved in the search?"

Garak met her glare steadily.

"Since Q decided to use me as blackmail bait to coerce Doctor Bashir," he began truculently. "Since I am equally as threatened by Q's irrational, self-serving behavior as yourselves, since Lieutenant Dax disappeared while on her way to see me, since I am at least as worried for the good doctor's safety as yourselves AND since I believe you will need as many experienced covert infiltrators as possible on this mission. No. I will not explain that statement."

Silence greeted his forceful speech. Taking in the compact gear at his feet and his determined expression, Kira decided not to press the point.

"Well, we have the crew, then. Now all we need is a direction."

All eyes turned to Aliera, and she smiled fiercely in return.

"Take me to Julian's quarters."

 

Flashes of brilliant crimson and deep azure filled her mind. Trapped, afraid, angrier than he could ever remember being, almost out of control. Fighting it for the sake of another, but soul-deep angry. The emotions she sensed were so strong they overpowered rational thought, and nearly overwhelmed their link. His attention was centered so thoroughly on his surroundings and his need to escape that she eventually gave up trying to communicate through the maelstrom. Concentrating with all her strength, she placed her hands in front of the three dimensional, computer generated grid and followed the link.

As her focus sharpened, pulled in by the force of his turmoil, her hands began to move. They wove random patterns in the air at first, searching space for her bondmate. The energy of his anger was a clarion call for her to follow. The patterns stabilized, her random motions stabilized. Her movements now sure, she felt both hands converge, fingertips pointing to a single point on the star map. A small, M class planet on the other side of the wormhole, barely into the Gamma Quadrant. Closing the link down with some difficulty, she opened weary eyes and saw where their link would lead them.

"There. He's got them there."

 

"Not now!" Sisko couldn't believe his luck. Of all times for such a high ranking group of Klingon ambassadors to arrive, this was *not* the best. Security concerns demanded Odo remain aboard Deep Space Nine, as least as long as the Klingon party was there, and their positions of importance demanded he also remain on-station. With frustrated reluctance, he called Kira into his office to inform her of the changes to their rescue plan.

"Don't you know that I want to go with you?"

"I do understand, sir, it's just that I don't trust Q-"

"Who does?"

"-and I don't think we should delay the mission any further."

"I agree. I also believe speed and stealth will be more important than firepower."

"No doubt," Kira nodded. "Phasers and photon torpedoes don't do much against Q."

"So. You, Aliera, and Garak will take the runabout Orinoco through the wormhole."

"What about the Defiant, commander?"

"You said it yourself. Guns won't help here, major. A smaller craft might have a better chance of slipping in undetected."

"Especially if Q is distracted with other things?"

Sisko nodded wordlessly. They exchanged grim looks, and Kira turned toward the doorway and strode briskly out to gather her unusual crew. Sisko watched her leave and wished with all his heart he could be with her.

 

Gods, but he hated to wait. It was the worst part, anticipating pain, it always had been hardest. Waiting built up the fear, induced panic, played into the tormentor's hands. Minutes stretched into hours, until the silence in the room was drowned in the rush of blood in his ears, and his skin fairly itched for something, anything, to happen. Julian sighed and tugged at his tunic. Again.

"Keep pulling that skirt, baby, and it's going to come apart."

He slowly swivelled his head to take in the newcomer, eyes widening with shock. She had Q's faintly malicious eyes, and Q's smirk, but nothing else matched. Chestnut hair tumbled in ringlets around her head, shining red and gold and rich brown in the subdued lights. Her eyes matched the shimmering aqua sheath barely covering her full curves. Julian swallowed, trying to ease his suddenly tight throat. *He's a woman!*

*Gender is transitory in the Continuum* Q spoke matter-of- factly in his mind. Julian shied away from the mental touch, and Q sighed irritably. She pointed an elegant hand at him, and he found himself staring with unwilling fascination at the manicured fingertips and opalescent polish. He felt knocked off balance by the unexpected switch. He also found himself frozen in place.

*Not again* he groaned silently.

"Yes, again." Julian was caught again by the husky, feminine timbre of her voice. It was actually rather alluring. "I don't bite - well, unless it's appropriate for the moment." Q's grin looked odd on the softer face. "Then I usually just nibble a bit."

She flowed toward him, seeming to walk without touching the floor, and he found himself distracted by her scent. A sudden thought struck him.

"Q? Have you ever made love as a humanoid?"

She reached up to run a gentle hand along his jawline, caressing his skin with the back of her fingers.

"Once," she replied softly. "But love is not what I seek from you."

He sucked in a breath, opening his mouth to ask her what she was after, then, when her lips closed over his. He braced himself for an emotional onslaught, but Q confined herself to the physical plane, outlining his lips with her tongue, easing inside to stroke the tender inner flesh of his bottom lip. Tracing the edge of his teeth, a seductress instead of a conqueror. Playfully smoothing the sensitive roof of his mouth, revelling in the rough rasp of his tongue pushing back against hers, twining with it in a halfhearted attempt to escape tempered with a growing arousal. Cupping his jaw with one hand, she reached across with the other and pressed the emerald silk against his chest, silk on silken skin, slipping along the edge of the material to his bared shoulder before dipping inside to brush her fingers along the smooth muscles.

Her questing hands and the tenderness of her approach soothed his fear and some of the trapped feeling began to dissipate. Finding himself able to move again, responding to her touch on his body, he lifted his arms and gently ran his palms along the sides of her hips, alternating feather light touches with harder pressure. He curved his fingers into the small of her back, then up behind her arms, between her shoulder blades, bringing her to him from shoulder to thigh. She stifled a moan and moved against him, her hand moving reluctantly from his chest to stroke over his shoulder and around his neck.

One of his knees insinuated itself between her legs as she twined herself around his body, a breath away from him, alive to every movement he made. As their hands moved restlessly over one another, seeking, soothing, molding themselves to their pleasure, and their mouths mated, Julian's mind caught up with his body. He realized, finally, rationally, what was happening, but the realization lasted only a moment before he was swept back into her seduction. She felt his infinitesimal withdrawal and deepened her passion in response to his attempt to back away from what was happening between them.

Mental and empathic channels, not called into play until that moment, were suddenly overwhelmed. Julian found himself sharing the moment from Q's perspective as well as his own. His reluctance was overpowered by the combined force of their desire, and the small rational voice faded away. They were submerged in a sea of honey gold and warm bright red, flashes of pure azure highlighting the contact between her mind and his. He was surrounded by her sweet taste, her scent, the whisper of her thoughts crowding his, surrounding him in sensation.

Q tried to be careful with her lover. As she felt the fire caress her own nerve endings, she delighted in the response of the body she was using, as well as his helpless response to her manipulation of his mind and body. Along with the pleasure, however, she also felt the damage left by those who had hurt him in the past. He had buried the memories very deeply, and erected strong defensive shields around his telempathic abilities. Those shields had recently been broken, and he was raw and vulnerable from the breach. As she pulled him to the deep pile of the carpet and covered his body with hers, she was determined to explore this particular Human thoroughly. In his current state, he would not be able to hide anything from her. Burying her face in the curve of his throat, she allowed herself to smile with anticipation.

Julian felt her lips move into a wide smile against the sensitive skin and shuddered. His body was almost unbearably sensitized, responding to every movement she made, and his mind had been given over to the tendrils of sensations weaving through every nerve in his system. They were together at the last, mind, body and emotions convulsing in an explosion of color and taste and sound, white hot fading to black. Exhausted, drained from the more than physical joining, aching from the hypersensitivity of their coming together, he accepted her weight as she curled up on top of him. Tucking her head into the hollow under his collarbone, he gratefully gave himself up to sleep.

Q was stunned. True, she had restrained herself, knowing that unleashing the full extent of her power into their temporary bond would seriously injure him. But even sharing a fraction of herself had been more intense than she'd expected. She sincerely hoped he'd be more relaxed with her now. There was so much more she was going to explore with him, and the experience would be easier and more satisfying if he gave himself freely. She raised her head slightly, watching his face as he slept. Yes, this was going to be much more interesting than she had originally thought.

 

The atmosphere on board the runabout was tense at best. Journeying through the wormhole had been uncomfortable for Aliera, but bearable. The strange flashes of light and turbulence were unusual, but it was the incredible impression of watchful intelligence that had pressed on her mind that made her feel like an interloper. She was glad it had only lasted a few moments. Leaning back in the comfortable seat, she eyed her companions. Both Garak and Kira sat stiffly, working together but holding themselves apart from one another. She chuckled softly to herself. If ever there were two disparate characters, it had to be this mismatched pair. Deciding to ignore Kira's not very well disguised hostility and Garak's slightly amused tolerance, she broke the silence.

"Which one of you was with Ish-Julian when he was recently injured?"

Garak glanced over his shoulder at her, smiling slightly. Kira stared straight ahead, but answered before the Cardassian could.

"Garak was."

"We both were," he gently corrected.

"Is he all right?" Concern laced Aliera's voice, and reminded the others that she hadn't seen Julian since his adventure on Bajor.

"Physically." Garak didn't elaborate.

"Did you feel it through this link, or whatever you call it?" Kira wasn't too sure about this telepathic bonding, and didn't want to accept anything Aliera said at face value.

"Yes." Ali was silent for a moment, debating with herself before she came to a decision. "How much has Julian told you about his past?"

Kira concentrated on her instruments, more to escape Aliera's searching gaze than because of any real need. Garak looked askance at her for a moment, then slowly answered Aliera.

"While we were temporarily detained on Bajor-"

"Runabout was sabotaged," interjected Kira.

"-Doctor Bashir told me a very interesting story about a young man he called Ishmir."

Kira looked quickly at Garak, then back to the viewscreen.

"He told me all he's comfortable with talking about for right now," she said flatly, with an air of finality. Garak subsided thoughtfully into silence with another little half smile, and Aliera eyed the back of Kira's fiery head with calculating eyes. *Seems my boy's got another champion* she thought with satisfaction. Settling back into her seat, she forced herself to concentrate on the rescue mission and put thoughts of the past behind her.

Kira looked quickly at Garak, then back to the viewscreen.

"He told me all he's comfortable with talking about for right now," she said flatly, with an air of finality. Garak subsided thoughtfully into silence with another little half smile, and Aliera eyed the back of Kira's fiery head with calculating eyes. *Seems my boy's got another champion* she thought with satisfaction. Settling back into her seat, she forced herself to concentrate on the rescue mission and put thoughts of the past behind her.

Kira held on to her temper with difficulty. She wasn't privy to all of Julian's secrets, just as he didn't know many of hers. After that nasty scene in Ops, they knew a hell of a lot more about each other, but not everything, by far. That Garak should take advantage of Julian's weakness to pry the story out of him confirmed her low opinion of the tailor. She knew Julian considered Garak his friend. She just hoped his perceived friendship wouldn't end up hurting him. She had come to respect a few Cardassians, most notably a dissident Legate and a dead file clerk. Garak made her senses go on red alert. She just couldn't bring herself to trust him.

Garak was aware of the major's anger, and more resigned to it than anything else. She had misread the situation, not unusual where he was concerned, and she had no idea what had really transpired on the surface of Bajor. She didn't realize that the good doctor was the only being on the station besides himself who knew the whole truth of his exile from Cardassia. He, in turn, was the only person who had learned the truth of Julian's background from the man himself. Dax knew quite a lot, due to her excellent detective skills and determination to protect Julian. Kira knew some, enough to know it had been much more nightmare than normal, and certainly not the pampered rich boy persona he portrayed. Garak didn't believe that Julian had told him everything, but he wouldn't admit it to anyone. He and Doctor Bashir had a balance of information, and if either revealed their knowledge, it would hurt both. It added an element of depth to their relationship that he would enjoy exploring. Provided they were able to get the lad back from Q. Along with Lieutenant Dax. In one piece.

 

Jadzia was bored. She was worried about Julian, too; he'd disappeared suddenly several hours previously and she hadn't seen him since then. Q also hadn't returned. Thoughts of what he was probably putting her young friend through tormented her until she'd had to focus on something different or lose her composure entirely. A thorough examination of her surroundings yielded no hope of escape, no vents, no doors, no windows, just a big cube full of fluffy pillows and soft beds. After prowling in circles until she made herself dizzy, she sank onto the plush carpet and drew a cushion to her chest, holding it tightly to herself and alternately dreading and anticipating Q's arrival. The combination strained her well-developed patience.

"What a charming picture."

She gracefully rose in response to the soft purring voice, turning to face Q. He was dressed casually, in an aqua shirt that matched his eyes, legs encased in dark blue velvet leggings. If his motivations weren't so suspect he would have been an attractive man.

He read wariness in her eyes and smiled reassuringly. Reaching out, he trailed the back of his knuckles along the dark spots leading down her throat toward her breast. She stood perfectly still, allowing but not encouraging his touch. Funny, how a caress that felt so comforting from Julian could feel so chilling from Q.

"You do fascinate me, Jadzia. As much as Julian does, in an altogether different way." His other hand raised to smooth her hair back over her shoulder, lingering along the way. "You both wear masks. His brash enthusiasm covers a past he considers shameful and hides the pain, at least most of the time, from himself. Your calm elegance glosses over an entire spectrum of life, death, love, loss. Not a spectrum of experience that the members of the Continuum ever feel from the inside."

He rubbed his cheek lightly against hers, but she didn't relax. He pulled back, holding her loosely in the circle of his arms, studying her face. "If it makes you more at ease with me, think of me as a curious Human. Not Q. Call me something different." He thought for a moment, and she didn't trust the twinkle in his gaze. "Call me Eugene."

She tilted her own head to study him. "Eugene?"

"A name from my early days, one of many lives."

"It doesn't suit you."

He assumed a wounded look. "I was very popular when I went by that name."

"Must have been some time ago," she mused.

"A few hundred years -- five or six. But you'd know all about changes over time, wouldn't you?" He ran his hand down her chest, between her breasts, coming to rest over the incision site through which the Dax symbiont had been inserted, once when she received it from Curzon and again when Julian had saved her life. "It's an interesting perspective, the longevity and the experience mingled in one being, able to be on the inside of the lives of each of the hosts, carrying that with you through the years."

His arms slipped around her waist, pulling her up close to his body. She felt the world tip on its axis, found herself falling into the sparkling blue of his eyes, her vision narrowing around her and her surroundings spinning off into darkness. She was so young, her very first joining, such a change from the pool for Dax, so much to learn together.

Everything she'd hoped for and indefinably so much more. Her first love, his face shining in her memory, faded just out of reach. The births of her children, spanning lives both as mother and father, mourning their loss, rejoicing in their accomplishments. The blood- tingling adventures, narrow escapes, boon companions. The knotty scientific puzzles to solve, intricate games of chance on dozens of worlds, absorbing experiences like a dry sponge in a thunderstorm. The lovers, the enemies, the music, the death and life accumulated through the centuries, made her head swim.

Jadzia was vaguely aware of the joining of their physical bodies, her active participation in her own seduction, but she felt it all in a dream state, distracted by the images drawn from Dax and the emotions they evoked. She dimly heard Q, exclaiming in unfeigned delight, somehow participating in her memories yet still there with her in the present. Eventually she gave up even attempting to analyze the experience and surrendered herself to it, and her world flew apart.

 

The silence in the runabout was tense as they approached the small planet. They had reviewed the rescue plans so often that each felt their part was imprinted on their brains, and there was no need for another run through. Kira out the craft into auto orbit, running silent, and locked down the instrument settings. She checked her hand weapons one last time. Moving to stand beside Aliera, cursing the limitations of the runabout that only allowed two people to beam at once, she reminded Ali of the beamdown sequence and quietly ordered the transporter to beam them away.

Kira and Garak materialized in a desert, snapping into a defensive formation that became a triangle an instant later when Aliera beamed in. Sensors were useless against Q; they would just have to stay alert and follow Aliera's lead. Seeing no immediate threat, Kira stepped to one side of Aliera, looking forward. Garak moved to the other side, watching their backs. Aliera closed her eyes and focused completely on her bond with Julian, trusting the others to protect her. Relying on her reluctant comrades didn't come easily or naturally, but her concern for her missing bondmate was stronger than her residual distrust.

She tasted the acrid dry air of the market, and the anger and fear swirling through the images, then heard his thoughts clearly.

*No. Not again. &lt;sigh&gt; Another trader. At least it wasn't the Klingons. Those women get mean!* A thread of sadness underlay the false bravado of the last thought.

Her eyes snapped open, her features hard in contrast to the shaking in her limbs. It had been a long time since she had returned so vividly to the marketplace. If this was the stuff of Julian's nightmares, she didn't wonder that he tried to keep it buried. She mentally cursed Q for subjecting Julian to this just to satisfy his curiosity. Her own time in the desert had been a nightmare as well -- it was awful enough to have to prostitute herself in order to survive, but being a Romulan halfbreed had made her both a target and a highly demanded commodity. She was still dealing with the aftereffects, still trying to camouflage her scars. She took a deep breath and struggled to keep her voice steady.

"He is in the process of regressing. Q is with him. Seems preoccupied. This way."

She moved across the sand, automatically shifting her balance on the balls of her feet to maintain her position on the side of the dune. Garak and Kira exchanged one quick, concerned glance and headed off to catch up with her, Kira hurrying to take the point, Garak lagging slightly to cover the flank. Aliera stalked forward like the hunter she was, keeping a low level link open to maintain her contact with Julian without alerting Q, her other senses alert for danger.

 

He was back in the marketplace again. Hiding in the shadows to escape the unbearable heat and the watchful eyes of his owner. It began as a dream, the air around him slowly heating as the darkness behind his eyelids gave way to the harsh desert heat. The soft cushions beneath him disappeared, and the cool satin coverlet was replaced with scratchy teal linen, falling raggedly over his hips and thighs. He raised a shaking hand to his ear, feeling the heavy weight of the earring, tangling in his long curls. The absurd thought struck him that he would never stop cutting his hair at this rate, when the reality of the dream hit him. The coarse rag binding the long locks of hair from his sweating face, the fine, gritty sand under his bare feet, and the twenty degree contrast between his shady hiding place behind the pottery stall and the blistering sun on the main street felt much, much too real.

He studied his hands, legs, arms. Judging from the length of him and the muscular development, adjusting for the effects of malnutrition and abuse, he put his age at between sixteen and seventeen years of age. For a moment he wondered at the objectivity of the assessment, but his attention was distracted by other, more pressing concerns. The main one was the hand that suddenly dove into the hair at the back of his head and pulled him out of the shadows.

The pain in his scalp was blinding, but he managed to stifle his scream. No one ever paid any attention, and crying out only made the inevitable beating even worse. He'd known that since he was ten or so. Edak shoved him around the corner and into the wall, careful not to mark his face while still exacting as much pain as possible from him. Of all the bad luck, to be caught hiding by the stable owner himself. Ishmir steeled himself against the pain in his head and relaxed in Edak's grip. Tense muscles only made it hurt worse.

The air seemed to shimmer around him and he swayed, disoriented. Somehow he was in the square, by the communal well, next to the tavern where the spacers went slumming. Edak was glowering at him from a corner of the yard, only paying half attention to his dice game. His muscles were aching and fingers of fire stretched across his back. While he was thankful he didn't recall the details of this particular beating, hadn't had to relive being tied to the stakes behind Edak's rundown unit and the inevitable whipping, he still felt dizzy and confused. Memories of Ishmir swamped Julian and he lost his identity in the tide.

This was unlike any dream or nightmare he had ever had. He leaned a hip against the low wall, making sure he looked available in case any interested paying customer happened by, and feverishly tried to sort out what was happening. Before he got very far untangling the puzzle of his thoughts, two Klingon women staggered from the tavern. He sized them up quickly and efficiently. They were more interested in each other than in him, and he smiled with relief. Klingons could get mean, and he already hurt.

A Benyali trader saw the smile from the doorway of the tavern and swayed unsteadily toward the youth. Now, this was more like it. Benyalis were often unusual in their preferences, relying on their combination of size, bulk and multiple limbs to get them their way, but they were seldom hurtful. And traders had money, so Edak would be satisfied. The tall indigo being brushed a long forefinger along Ishmir's throat, moving along his neck to play with the curls hanging over his shoulder. Ishmir smiled again and nipped delicately at the trailing digits. The Benyali whistle clicked in approval, and easily picked the boy up. As it dropped him gently on the ground next to the well and fluttered its ancillary limbs across his torso and chest, he tried to ignore the pain from his back and the random, alien images flooding his mind. Gritting his teeth with the effort, he slowly added another layer to his already thick telempathic shields, fighting to keep some small part of himself safe from the intrusion of others.

The change was equally abrupt the next time, and the time after that, as he tumbled from one humiliating, painful scene to another. Rich merchants, locals taking their own frustrations out on the least fortunate denizens of the oasis, soldiers from private ships, Star Fleet personnel on leave in search of the exotic of their home world, some of the rougher citizens of the Klingon Empire, pirates looking for sport, an occasional rogue Romulan. Sometimes with one, sometimes with many, often alone, once in a while in tandem with Aliera or one of his other stablemates. Interspersed with the jobs were cold, too-short nights, Edak's punishments for real or imagined shortcomings, and brief, fierce dreams of escape.

They swirled together in a vivid, nervewracking kaleidoscope of emotions, impressions, visions, images until they froze on one final, horrific moment. Ishmir stood immobilized by shock, staring at the blood splattered over his hands and arms. The vicious empath lay dead at his feet, the only possible way to put an end to the rape of his mind and emotions that would otherwise have ended in his own death. His mind responded dimly to Aliera's mental warning cry, as she wrenched the knife from his nerveless fingers and pushed him away from the body. She touched him, he thought he remembered, put her hand in the center of his chest, over his heart, before he ran. The images began to move forward again, his refuge with Meriel Bashir, a one-time customer; escape to San Francisco; a new name and a new life thanks to a few favors being called in.

Losing Persa when her father found out about his past and threatened to expose him, then self-exile to Deep Space Nine and the easy acceptance of the facade he had erected; all these images followed in quick succession. Events sped by, the whirlwind of emotion sucking him down through the turning maze of his memories, buffeting him until he screamed from frustration at the trap he found himself in, caught in the fragments of his shattered shields, unable to fight, forget, move, breathe.  

 

Strong arms held him, containing his struggles. Soothing energy flowed over him, calming the turmoil of his thoughts. Delicate tracings of electric blue fire formed a web around his mind, carefully disentangling him from the shards of his telempathic shields. Music, softly played in a minor key, coursed through his body, relaxing his jangled nerves and numbing the pain.

His horizons seemed infinite, but it was a soothing darkness that comforted him, lit by flashes of soft copper light. For a moment he didn't recognize the feeling. Then he realized what it was. He was safe. Winding through the darkness was a single emerald thread, buried deeply under the firestorm of his previous emotions, exposed now in the sudden calm. The comforting presence expanded to include the tiny glittering thread, and Julian opened his eyes to find himself staring at Q's thoughtful face.

"It seems we have company."

 

Aliera jerked to a stop. Garak nearly ran over her, but stopped himself barely in time.

"Kira!" he hissed. The Bajoran joined them instantly.

"What happened to her?"

"Q," Aliera rapped out. "He found the link." All three became, if possible, even more alert than before, trying to look in all directions at once. "He knows we're-"

The world shifted.

Kira and Garak found themselves in what appeared to be a beautifully appointed sitting room. An assortment of delicacies were arranged on a low side table, accompanied by a variety of drinks in sparkling crystal decanters. She recognized Bajoran, Cardassian, Vulcan and Klingon beverages. Looking around, she saw no sign at all of their host -- nor of Aliera. There was also no sign of a door, window, air duct or vent to go through.

Garak began to prowl the perimeter of the room in one direction, and Kira took the other. Meeting in the middle, they stopped and looked at one another, not quite sure what to expect next.

"I wonder what he has done with our lovely companion," Garak mused as he poked a Klingon appetizer and watched it crawl sluggishly away from his prodding finger. Kira shrugged.

"With Q, who knows?" She perched uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa, before springing up again and resuming her pacing.

He lowered himself onto a plush chair and watched her move with a slight smile. "I suppose we shall see in good time." He met her glare with equanimity. "What else would you suggest, my dear major? You know, we really must have a long conversation, one day."

He held her gaze until she finally looked away and plopped gracefully back onto the sofa. Sighing impatiently, she began to play with her fingers, lacing them together, stretching her knuckles. Silence settled between them, watchful on his part, uneasy on hers, neither really wishing to disrupt their fragile truce.

"Are you my rescue team?"

Dax's bemused question brought both Garak and Kira to their feet. His eyes widened in appreciation at the sight of the stunning Trill, partially covered in an excellent quality sapphire satin sheath, artfully cut to show her figure and markings to their best advantage. Kira nearly vaulted over the back of the sofa to get to her friend, eyes anxiously darting over her, searching for signs of damage. She clasped Dax's hands in her own, partly to assure herself that the other woman wasn't a mirage. Dax smiled shakily at her and Kira led her around the edge of the sofa, pushing her gently down on the soft cushions. Garak eyed her with some anxiety.

"As relieved as I am to see you, lieutenant, I must ask if you might know where Doctor Bashir is being held."

She looked as worried as he felt, which didn't reassure anyone.

"I don't know, Garak. We were only together for a short time before he -- disappeared. Then, I don't know how much later but subjectively it felt like many hours, Q ... came to me. I don't know how long he was there, but he left several hours ago. And I haven't seen either if them since." *

 

"-here!"

Aliera's eyes widened and she dropped into a fighter's crouch when she saw her surroundings. Although she wasn't quite sure why peach chiffon drapes and forest green velvet pillows should trigger a defensive reaction.

"Ah. The lovely, and intrusive, Aliera joins us," purred Q.

Oh. Right. That was why.

He lay stretched full length on the huge bed, one leg bent at the knee, hands folded lazily behind his head. Julian sat cross legged beside him, looking slightly dazed but less distraught than she'd feared. A haze of misty green filled her vision at the sight of her bondmate in slave clothes, the blood roared in her ears, and she didn't even hear the low growl emanating from her throat. Without further warning, she launched herself at Q. Her hands were outstretched claws, ready to rip his heart out, forgetting his damnable powers in her fury.

*No, Ali! NO!!* Julian's warning scream echoed through her mind as she was caught, held immobile in some sort of force field. Her mind and body felt frozen, only her link with Julian still having any life.

*Ishmir!* A frenzied scream, a tiger fighting to get to her cub, a warrior determined to break free and defend her charge.

*Don't fight, Aliera, please, please don't fight* His gentle words barely made an impression on her stormy mind.

*Are you all right? Did he hurt you? I will tear him apart. What did he do to you?* Her thoughts were almost frantic, trying at last to stay still and not struggle against whatever force held her. She was desperate to make sure he was safe and whole. Somehow he was off the bed, trying to reach her, unable to break through and get to her.

*I'm fine, love, really, I'm all right. It was no worse than the nightmares, not as bad as the reality* he reassured her, wrapping her in an unseen hug, trying to diffuse her anger. She responded to his attempts at comfort with an embrace of her own, running noncorporeal hands over him, sensing for herself if he was undamaged by his ordeal.

The bubble holding her in place suddenly dissipated, and the spectral embrace became physical. She hugged him tightly to her and he returned the embrace fiercely. Gently probing his shields, she was relieved to find him not only no worse than before, but actually healed in places that had been raw the last time she had been so closely linked to him.

*Healer?*

His answering mental hug made her smile slightly.

*What -- happened here?* Her confusion resonated strongly through the link.

*I'm damned if I know* He led her to the side of the bed and half-sat, half-collapsed on it. She lowered herself down beside him, keeping a firm grip around his waist. They leaned against one another allowing tense muscles to relax a fraction, drawing strength from one another as they had since their youth. He rested his temple lightly against hers and continued the silent conversation through the link.

*It was like a nightmare, only it wasn't. Time seemed compressed, somehow, and I lived through it all in bits and pieces, more real than a nightmare, but with a dream quality about it. Almost as if I were the observer and also the participant, feeling the pain but not incapacitated by it.*

*I saw the trader, Julian.* She forced herself to use the other name, recognizing the man he was now and reluctant to associate him too closely with the boy he had been. *And the empath, his death. I tried to stay hidden, so he wouldn't sense me in your mind, when suddenly it was so calm, and I couldn't hide...*

Her thought trailed off in confusion. He sensed her disgust with what she saw as her failure, and soothed her wordlessly. She sank into the warmth of his affection, their minds gently melding. Wrapped in a cocoon of their own making, bodies lightly touching but not moving, they held one another and reassured themselves that they were safe. At least for the moment.

Q watched the two old friends, quietly embracing like storm-tossed travelers on a tiny island, surrounded by high winds. The vague feeling of loss in his mind surprised him, and the emptiness he had tried to fill with Julian and Dax's experiences actually deepened slightly.

For a moment he felt angry, with himself for caring about it, with these little sparks of life that he found so endlessly fascinating, then he laughed at himself. He was acting almost like a Human himself, face pressed to the window of their chaotic, short existence, wanting what he couldn't have and would probably discard if it was offered to him.

His corporeal body dissolved, and entered the mind link between Julian and Aliera as softly as a mist. For a sweet eternity, he savored the closeness they shared, warming himself at their fire, an uninvited, unnoticed interloper. Then he withdrew with a tinge of regret, satisfied that he had learned what he had sought from this little group. He didn't know, hadn't decided yet if he was going to visit them again. For now, it was enough.  

 

"That can't be..."

Chief O'Brien's muttered oath brought Sisko's head around. Miles was checking instruments in a controlled frenzy, hands flying over Dax's terminal. Sisko moved briskly to stand peering over his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Chief?"

"It's the Orinoco, sir." Both men stiffened. "It's docked at pad six!"

"What?" Sisko eyed the readout incredulously. ""But the wormhole didn't-"

"No elevated neutrino levels-" O'Brien raised confused eyes to meet his commander's.

"Check for lifeforms aboard the runabout," Sisko rapped out urgently. Miles immediately complied, looking alarmed at his findings.

"None. sir."

Sisko tapped his commbadge. "Computer, locate Major Kira."

After what felt like hours, the computer replied, "Major Kira is not on the station."

Sisko and O'Brien exchanged grim looks. "Q," Sisko hissed. The chief nodded unhappily. *

 

Wrapped up in one another, they didn't realized the world had shifted until the sound of a throat being cleared startled them. Aliera looked up into the curious aqua gaze of a Trill she vaguely remembered as Dax, with the Cardassian across from them on an overstuffed chair. A tense looking Kira stood behind Dax, with one hand on her shoulder. Ali's gaze was drawn back to Garak, who was looking at Julian with an arrested expression. His eyes were very wide, short eyelashes nearly brushing his eyeridges, and he seemed to be having difficulty keeping his jaw from dropping. Aliera glanced at her friend's abbreviated attire, tousled hair and generally disheveled appearance, and grinned. Apparently this was not Julian's usual look.

"Garak! Kira!" His dismay was evident in his voice. "Q got you too!"

"Actually," Kira responded somewhat peevishly, "we're here to rescue you." Ignoring the skeptical quirk of his brow, she tapped her commbadge. "Computer, landing party to beam up." Silence greeted her command. "Computer, respond."

Impatience edged her voice. When there was no response, Garak tried his borrowed badge, with the same lack of results. Kira slowly sank to a seat on the arm of the sofa next to Dax. Five unwilling guests stared glumly at one another.

"Now what?" She sounded depressed. She hated boxing with shadows.

"I just wanted to say goodbye," Q answered with mock good cheer. They looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen. "You have been very interesting, not to mention entertaining and informative, company for me. The little craft you came in wouldn't fit more than four of you with any degree of comfort, and it is a long trip home."

Suddenly he appeared in front of a startled Jadzia, lifting her hand to his lips with studied elegance.

"Thank you for sharing the benefit of your experiences with me, lovely one. It was quite unusual, I assure you."

She found herself responding to his charm with a sideways smile, ignoring the choked growl from Kira beside her. Q turned to the ruffled major with a wicked smile.

"Wouldn't this arrangement be more apt?" In an instant, she found herself sitting in an extremely surprised Garak's lap, her hands tucked around his neck and his arms entwined around her waist. Cardassian and Bajoran stared at one another in speechless shock, too aghast to even move. Q turned swiftly to the final couple, cupping Aliera's chin with one hand and Julian's with the other. Ignoring the squawks of outrage behind him, he studied their faces.

"Quite a pair you turned out to be. You've given me much to ponder, little one, and quite nicely alleviated my ennui." He dropped his hands and Dax and Garak holding back an infuriated Kira, keeping her from attacking Q in a blind rage.

"Now, however, I'm getting bored. Time for you to all go home."

He gave them a haughty smirk and turned his back to them.

Dax lost her grip on Kira when she tumbled back on the hard bed. Garak automatically overcompensated for the sudden change in restraining pressure on Kira's other arm, swinging her around in a semicircle that rolled them both over the edge of the bed and landed them in a tangle of arms and legs on the floor, against the wall, with the utterly embarrassed woman sprawled atop his chest.

"NOT again," she hissed into the corded ridge running alongside his neck. He felt himself respond to the sensation and winced.

"Please, my dear major. While it is an unaccustomed pleasure to have your person so indelibly pressed into mine, I really must request you desist."

She raised herself to punch him, then realized how provocative their positions were. She also noticed how mortified (and aroused) Garak looked, and jerkily brought her hand down to his chest. She levered herself as quickly as possible off of him, ignoring his occasional grunt of pain when she put an elbow in his throat or a knee in his stomach.

Finally, glaring at one another, they maneuvered themselves to their knees beside the bed. Aliera, Julian and Dax were watching them with varying degrees of interest and amusement. Both flushed, then managed to get to their feet, moving to stand as far apart from one another as possible. Casting about for something to direct their attention from the unwitting sideshow she and Garak had just put on, Kira blurted, "Where are we now?!"

"Julian's quarters."

"My bedroom."

Dax and Julian's voices overlapped. They exchanged a look, and Aliera found herself examining Dax with more interest. If she read the signs right, and she always did, there was something brewing here. Kira's commbadge chirped startling them all.

"Sisko to Kira." The commander's voice had an unusually urgent edge to it.

"Yes, Commander?"

"You're here!" He sounded surprised and highly relieved.

"Yes, sir, we're all here, safe and sou- oh, no! The runabout!"

"It's been docked here for the last three hours, Major," Chief O'Brien's voice cut in.

"I'll come to your office and report immediately," Kira stated crisply, happy to escape the uncomfortable room and don a more professional persona. With a little nod that encompassed everyone and acknowledged no one in particular, she hurried out the door. Aliera noticed Garak's eyes following her out.

*How interesting...*

*What, Ali?* Julian mentally queried. She turned to him and smiled warmly.

*Oh, nothing important, I suppose.* Aloud she wondered, "What do you think he was after?"

Garak settled himself along the wall to listen as Dax began to speak. She chose her words carefully, thinking it out as she went, trying to make sense of the strange experience.

"I think he was trying to see what a variety of lifetimes must be like, at least with me. He seems to be easily bored, and by living through the lives Dax has shared, he was able to see whole life cycles. Birth, growth, love. loss. learning. death. He could inhabit my memories, experience it all from the inside. Be a part of it instead of an onlooker."

"It seemed to rankle when I called him a voyeur," Julian remarked thoughtfully.

"It may very well have," Dax replied. "Maybe he wanted to be a participant, somehow."

"That's not all he got," Julian speculated. "He's so used to being omnipotent. Having unlimited powers, being impervious to pain. He's always in control, unless the Continuum is punishing him for some transgression. When he ... took me through my memories ... he lost that control. He was powerless, and there wasn't a bloody thing I -- he -- we -- whatever. It couldn't be helped, or changed. It hurt. I'm not sure he's ever been hurt before."

Aliera unconsciously reacted to the remnants of pain in his voice by lacing her fingers through his. Her quiet voice took up the thread of conversation when his faded away to silence.

"There's another thing. I felt it in our link, Julian. Q is a part of a whole, one within the Continuum. He's never alone, no matter how often he seems to go off away from the others. We're the other way around. We're isolated, individual beings, constantly striving to connect with each other. By all the Elements, no matter how hard we try, we can't bridge that gap! It seems like he wanted to feel the difference between his idea of sharing self and ours. He kept us physically separated at first, and I think it was because he wanted to see our link at its most basic, made strongest by our fear for one another."

"We'll probably never know," Garak's voice came from the shadows by the bed. "Q is not known for explaining himself."

"Too true." Dax shook her head. "I'd better let Benjamin know that I'm really all right."

"Are you?" Julian asked gently. She paused for a moment before answering.

"Yes. I am." She ignored the others and concentrated on Julian. "And you? It must have been more intense for you than for me. And more unpleasant."

He smiled, reassuring her. "I'm going to be fine, Jadzia."

She didn't completely believe him, but she let it go. For now. She would follow up with him later and make sure Q hadn't done any permanent damage with all his poking around. With a final smile at Garak and a more formal nod to Aliera, she made a dignified exit.

Garak pushed himself away from the wall and came to stand before Aliera. He took her hand lightly and made her a courtly bow.

"It has indeed been a pleasure making your acquaintance, my dear. If you ever find yourself in need of a companion on another rescue mission, or a truly dashing evening ensemble, don't hesitate to call on me."

She gave him a genuinely delighted grin. "The pleasure is definitely mine! Thank you for guarding my back so competently, Mr. Garak."

He released her hand and reached out tentatively to clasp Julian's shoulder. The young Human covered Garak's hand with his own and smiled sweetly at him.

"I thank you as well, Garak."

"You are a most entertaining luncheon companion, my dear doctor. I would hate to lose your delightful company." Julian slanted him a chiding look, and the tailor lost his air of jocularity for an instant. "I am extremely relieved that you are back with us, Julian Bashir." He squeezed his shoulder once, then slipped his hand out from under Julian's and walked briskly out the door. Julian watched him go, then turned to Aliera. She touched his cheek lightly.

"You have good friends, Healer."

He nodded mute agreement, then folded her in his arms. They stood quietly for a long moment, hearts and minds connecting n a singular communion they could have with no other. Their link was as deep as it had ever been, lending strength and comfort to them both. After and eternity that wasn't nearly long enough, she stepped back from his embrace, bringing her hand back up to trace the long dimples bracketing his mouth.

*I must go, Healer, before your Constable Odo decides the truce is over and tosses me in a cell. The rescue is complete, all the players home.*

*Did I thank you, Ali? My warrior. Always protecting me.*

*Always.* She looked solemnly into his eyes, her own shimmering with tears. *Depend on it.*

*I do.* He sighed, leaning forward to lay a tender kiss on her lips. *Now you really had better go. It's safer that way.*

*Take care of yourself, Healer.* He nodded and she slowly withdrew. The door closed silently behind her, and he sank to the side of the bed. He had to debrief with the commander, but he needed to catch his breath first. He was more fatigued than he could remember being in a very long time, after the emotional rollercoaster he had ridden.

"You're wrong, you know."

Julian raised his face wearily to meet Q's pensive gaze.

"Oh, not about my motives. You came to a surprisingly accurate consensus on those. You were even close when you tried to guess what I'd learned. But you were quite wrong about one very important point." Q sat lightly beside Julian, who shifted uneasily but didn't move away. Tilting his head to one side and resting his chin on his hand, he watched Q and waited for the explanation he was sure would follow. Q stretched out his fingers and brushed them through the curls at Julian's temples, amused at the Human's discomfort.

"You're not powerless. Never have been. Quite the opposite." Julian drew back and looked at him with disbelief, but Q was serious. He continued implacably, "You had to be powerful in order to both survive and escape your past. Humans are barbaric savages, at their worst, and you fought your way through some of the worst manifestations of that. But now is another time."

Q clasped Julian's face gently between his palms, turning the young man to face him fully. "You taught me some things, little one. About strength, and an odd sort of purity of heart that has nothing at all to do with life experiences and everything to do with the soul. A strange concept, but an interesting one. So I'll give a gift to you, a little wisdom I've gained in my innumerable years.

"Reconcile the truth of your past with the truth of your present. So much of who you are was created in response to the fire of your youth. Put your past to rest, and accept all of yourself."

Julian closed his eyes, unable and unwilling to continue to meet Q's intense gaze. He felt Q lean forward, placing a gentle kiss on his brow, whispering a final phrase in his ear. Then the other being was gone, leaving behind him a cleansing draft of molten gold running along Julian's telempathic pathways, healing the broken edges of his shields, shoring up his weaknesses and soothing his vulnerabilities. As he felt the raw pain ease, Q's parting words echoed in his mind.

"Physician, heal thyself ... it is time."

end


End file.
